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unikyrn [userpic]

Good-bye Uncle Ron

November 29th, 2013 (11:24 pm)
current mood: Sad

The card my Aunt sent me for my birthday included a note that we needed to stay in touch and that she wanted to try and get together with Peggy and I.  I called her, and suggested getting together for Thanksgiving, something we haven't done in a couple of years, and offered to bring the turkey so she didn't have to deal with that hassle and she took me up on it.  During that conversation, she also mentioned that my Uncle wasn't doing very well, but no details.

I didn't flunk math, I can put 2 and 2 together.  If she was agreeing to a holiday dinner, which we'd stopped having because they simply weren't up to it any more, and mentioning my Uncle was in bad shape, it meant she wanted us to get together as a family for the last time.  Or almost as a family, because she mentioned not inviting my mother even before I could mention I wasn't interested in inviting her.  Yeah, my mother is that unpopular with the entire family.  We both regretted not being able to invite my brother, but since it's a package deal, we couldn't.  I do hope they find some way to get him to visit though, soon, he should get the chance to say good-bye to my Uncle if he wants to.

They've ceased palliative care for my Uncle, he'll live out what's left of his life at home, with his wife and son.

It turns out he didn't have Parkinson's, and my Aunt is livid at the original neurologist.  It also explains why none of the Parkinson's related treatments they gave him seemed to help any.  The new neurologist asked way more questions, of my Uncle instead of the family, did a better exam and diagnosed him with Parkinsonian Sub-Neural Palsy, or something like that.  There are only about 20,000 cases in the US versus millions of Parkinson's patients.  There is no treatment, no cure, and he's gradually being paralyzed on top of dementia and hallucinations.

My Aunt and Cousin have set up a bed for him near to where they spend a lot of their time, the kitchen, dinning room, etc.  His vision is going, but they've found that as long as he can hear them, he's less agitated.  During dinner last night, we were all sitting together in the dinning room, and they'd stand up to check on him every once in awhile, or when he sounded like he needed attention.

I think they've finally accepted they can't hold on to him any longer.  My Aunt didn't come right out and say it, but my Cousin did when he took me aside after dinner where he thought Peggy and his mother couldn't hear us talking.  He asked me to go say good-bye to him, they don't expect him to live more than a few months.  On top of everything else, he's got a blood condition where he makes too many blood cells.  They've been taking him in to have the excess cells removed, but the cancer treatment center told them it was time to let him go after his last treatment.  So his blood will eventually thicken, he'll have a stroke which he won't survive in his condition, they estimated six months at the max.

I told my Cousin that I would, and I did, but I also had to pause and finally make it clear that we didn't see his father in the same way.  He told me that the family had always done well by his father, I looked at him and told him that someday, if he wants, we need to have talk.  My Uncle was a con-man, there isn't any better way to describe him.  I do have to admit that he did it to benefit his family though instead of just himself.  Even my brother benefited from that.  How ever he defined family though, I fell outside that definition more often than not.  Maybe he just figured I could take care of my self, since I'd more or less been doing it all my life anyway.  If my Cousin and I ever do have that talk, I'll have to try and explain that to him, I'm not sure he'll understand it, or believe it.

Anyway, I've said my good-bye's to my Uncle, I'm not sure he knew I was there even after my Cousin told him I'd come down to talk to him.  He'd been hallucinating all evening, we could hear him talking to people who weren't there while we were eating dinner.  The next call I get from my Aunt, I expect to be the notification that he's finally died and I hope he goes easily.  What ever my disagreements with him have been, the guy who I said good-bye to last night was not my Uncle, it was the shell he's trying to escape from.  On the way home last night, I was pretty quiet, which concerned Peggy.  I couldn't figure out how to explain it.

When my grandmother died, I didn't know it and the ER nurse asked if I wanted to see her.  I said yes, thinking she was still alive and got lead to a room where her body was laid out, waiting for the morgue crew to come collect her.  I still have nightmares about that scene.  When my grandfather died, I refused to go view the body.  I had a picture in my head of him when he was alive and that's how I wanted to remember him.  With my Uncle, I'm going to remember him as this shriveled husk of a man, something out of a war news reel when the concentration camps were being liberated.  They'd find a body, nothing but bones and skin, and watch in horror as the eyes would open and the person would try to thank them for finally coming to save them.  That's how my Uncle looked last night and it's not how I want to remember him, in spite of everything.

So Uncle Ron, good-bye, and if you're right, good-luck.

unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter Seven

April 1st, 2013 (01:24 am)

Chapter 7: Expedition

It was two days before Tyra decided what kind of message she wanted to send with Selene, and I got the video recorder back. If I hadn’t promised once again to not delete my own sample message, I’m pretty sure she’d have just sent Selene and skipped the message entirely. I wasn’t sure still just why she thought mine was so important, and I was no more comfortable in front of a camera as Brianna than I’d been as Brian, but I promised.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter Six

March 30th, 2013 (06:41 pm)

Chapter 6: Exploration

We were less than an hour gone when I saw Rel looking worriedly at the sky in front of us. Before two had passed, I was worried also. Spring weather could be nasty in this area, rain, fog, hail, snow, wind, and all within a few hours time. We weren’t quite half way home when the temp dropped rapidly in just a few minutes and the rain began. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t heavy, it was cold, and both of us were dressed in what I’d have described once as halter tops and shorts. There was no place to hide from it either, nothing but grasslands in all directions, and the only warmth we could count on was ahead of us, not behind.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter Five

March 30th, 2013 (03:23 pm)

Chapter 5: Determination

I vaguely remember turning off the music and putting the earbuds away to keep from breaking them as we shifted around in our sleep. When I woke up the next morning, the sun finally creeping through the window, hitting me in the eyes, demanding my attention, I felt relaxed and more comfortable than I had in a long time. Laying there, my arms around Rel, feeling her breathing slowly as she slept, I refused to think about anything else. At least until I no other choice, since my bladder was demanding my attention.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter Four

March 30th, 2013 (02:37 pm)

Chapter 4: Understanding

I must have read from that story for hours. When I started to get hoarse, I remember being handed a cup of what turned out to be some of the Orange Muscat that Rel and I had opened, I hadn’t realized she’d brought the bottle back with us. The last clear memory I had of that night was of looking up at Polaris, and thinking I’d never seen the Big Dipper at that angle before.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter Three

March 30th, 2013 (04:50 am)

Chapter 3: Realization

It was been mid-morning when we started out, and travel across a prairie that might be hiding gopher holes or worse meant our pace was held down to a few miles per hour, at best. When we stopped for a break in early afternoon, I checked my watch and then the landscape. “I’m guessing we’ll probably make it to my house either late afternoon, or early evening."

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter Two

March 30th, 2013 (04:19 am)

Chapter 2: Repetition

I hadn’t been awake all that long before I heard Rel’s voice from outside my cabin window, asking if I needed any help this morning. “What the hell time is it,” I muttered under my breath as I tried to find my pocket watch. It was 7AM, and time to go to work in the fields again, apparently.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 2: Chapter One

March 30th, 2013 (03:53 am)

Chapter 1: Confusion

The war with the WaVishna, was over, we’d won. Sitting on the shore of what I’d have called the Spokane River, a couple of weeks after that battle, I sure didn’t feel like I’d won anything though. The life I was going to lead from now on didn’t seem like a reward either. The only thing I was certain of at this point was that Tyra and the other El’envala expected me to help repopulate their tribe. That would have been fine if I’d still been male, surrounded by females who looked like elfin pin-ups. I wasn’t male though, I was female as well, and the resident male, er, well, hermaphrodite, was patiently waiting for me to invite her to my bed.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 1: Epilog

March 25th, 2013 (01:59 pm)

Epilog

No matter how I try and forget, the battle that followed haunts my memories and my dreams. Even with the extra guns I’d returned with, we almost lost and six of our group are buried in a small graveyard behind the house that they fought to save from the WaVishna.

One of them was Wenda. I still remember her sitting in that chair, her leg stretched out and preventing her from running away, as she put round after round into the Trolls before they overwhelmed her. I got there too late to save her, and until the cloth finally rotted with age, there was a patch on the arm of my jumpsuit to remind of the arrow I’d taken in the arm that morning.

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unikyrn [userpic]

Alterverse 1: Chapter Nine

March 25th, 2013 (01:53 pm)

Chapter Nine: Resolution

I don’t know how long I stood there yelling. I only stopped when I realized I’d been slamming my fist into the picture window and it finally cracked under the stress.

“That was not a dream …” I told myself again as I sat back onto my bed, the inane music that acted as my alarm clock still playing softly in the background. I wanted to dig a hole and hide in it, and the closest I could get to that at the moment was to crawl under the covers of my bed and hide from a reality that I prayed wasn’t real. Even as I started to do so though, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye that was laying on the cedar chest that sat in my room, that didn’t belong there.

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